Feeling better

So today has been a pretty cruisy day i love it when everything just falls into place its perfect.... Well thats how my day has been with the kids...
Im just about to start cooking dinner and getting the kiddies ready for possibly some play outside if the weather holds out.
Everything is becoming alot less complicated today and is going pretty well. I have figured out a savings plan so i can afford to go to mallacoota for christmas and to take some time off work for it... I actually booked accomodation today for the place i wanna stay and it looks as though its all coming along quite well...

I am so tired i cant wait for monday jake has the day off work so we are going to go for a nice drive down the coast somewhere or maybe even up.... He hasnt done the touristy thing yet in wollongong so i need to show him around...

I am really enjoying my time i spend with him and we will just have to see where things go...
But i think things are going to go quite well with jake...

Last night i had a good cry and probably could have done alot more.... I havnt cried in a long time it was a relief to know i havnt shut myslef down totally from being hurt....
but i totally feel better after crying....

Anyway the day has gone good and i better be off to make dinner...

Love Amy

Things are looking up for Amy

Yay things are looking up for amy...
Joel has finally started to move on he is still making things dfficult for me just a little but things are getting better, i think he is finally getting the point that i dont want to be with him anymore...

I am a little dissapointed that i have lost friends through this, but i suppose its better to find out now then later.. In times likes these it really shows who is really there for you.. So sad i had to lose a friend i have known for 8 years...

Anyway looking ahead and to the future and am loving it.. turning 20 could possibly be my milestone into real adulthood.. Cause i have been through so much already and i have only been 20 for 1 month.... All i can say is bring it on.. Cause i believe that all of this crap i am going through will make me stronger when i up against much larger circumstances then this..

I am feeling good about myself... Im on a high just hopeing nothing will bring me down...

Love from
Amy

Today is A new Day

Today is a new day and as i wrote yesterday wishing that this cold weather would move on, i got my wish and it has yay!!!
The sun is shining and the day looks absolutley beautiful...
The pool looks so inviting yet i am thinking that with the cold weather we have recently had looks can be decieving as the water temprature is probably very cold...

So school holidays with the kids has been interesting still a week to go but they have been great behaving very well most of the time...
Today we are going to do some art and craft......
So hopefully that should keep the entertainment for a while....
I have been trying to get these boys away from the xbox and playstation and tv they are totally addiicted...
So i have also introduced some board games which keep them very entertained for quite some time aslong as the fighting doesnt start... LOL.

I cant believe how much the girls are growing up i took the oldest girl shopping yesterday for her first bra i couldnt believe it i felt kind of honoured to have been there for her... She didnt think it was a very big deal but i did.. lol
It also made me really sad though at the same time knowing that her teenage years are going to be so hard without her mum already the big things are coming up like highschool starting next year.. And all the girly stuff that comes with it...Hopefully i shall be of some service to her as she is going through this most difficult time......
I am loving my job and the way it is..... It makes me very happy.....
Love Amy

Hello

So today has been an interesting day... Things have been going so wrong and so good... I am so confused about everything today and i am not feeling the best.

So i am now very happy moving on with my life and the way it is going.
I am enjoying looking to the future and knowing that there are better things out there for me.

So i better go i am so tired and need some sleep for work tmoz...
Work is good and i cant wait for summer this cold weather is really quite crap.
Plus i am really ready to hurry up and use the fantastic looking pool that is sitting in the back yard....

I am now enjoying life for everyday and not for the days that have already gone...
I shall have no regrets..

Love Amy

Who KNows

I cant believe how tired i am , all my energy is totally gone...
Children do not care what u think or are going through... They will play up when they like and about whatever reason they choose.... (these children know who they are)

Anyway i am so over everything at the moment and am stressing really bad i am always out of energy and im panicking all the time i dont get it...
I think i may just have to go to the doctors...

Joel is really stressing me out threatening to take my stuff... He is becoming a very angry person because i wont get back with him...
Its scaring me alot...
Im not copeing very well... And now everytime the kids do something wrong i am taking twice as hard and it isnt fair on them... I feel horrible

Stress is killing me at the moment.... I dont know how much i can take of the playing games and calling names i feel as though i am in high school all over again.

It doesnt help i have friends talking about me behind my back and telling joel everything move i make or everything i do and then he uses things against me i cant take it anymore i need him to leave me alone... Its so hard because somewhere in me i still care for him deeply but everything he did to me was wrong and i cant be with someone who could possibly do that to another person especially someone they were supposed to love....

Im still hurting....
I keep praying that each day will get easier for me to handle... But with all reality its getting harder

New LIfe

So when two people split up so much hurt and confusion is flown into the air and you never know when it is truly going to settle properly. Life is whirlwind we get swept into and sometimes we have no idea of when excatly our feet are going to touch the ground...

Life is a constant confliction of what is right and what is wrong.. you never know really when you are going to make choices will regret because it could be a long time before u realise that it was the biggest mistake you have made...

But as some people say... "Never regret anything that made you smile"
I just regret not ending things when i stopped smiling..
When you stop smiling and you start frowning at everything and you know that you are not your true self that is when you know that something in your life is going wrong.. I know things can be hard at times but when things never change and you have to start changing things about yourself for another person something is horribly wrong...

People should love you for who you are... And if they truly love you they will never try to change you and make you something your not..